Thursday, June 18, 2015

Nicotini.com -- Nicotini: The Trials and Tribulations of Hard-boiled Private Dick Nico Tini


For Sale at Go Daddy:


As of June 18, 2015, no official or live trademarks were found for the exact terms

Nicotini or Nico Tini

However, one dead trademark (abandoned in 2007) was found on USPTO.gov


We love Nicotini.com. We registered this domain for this reason alone, and it will take a lot of moola to wrench this domain from our cold, dead hands.
According to the 14 December, 2003, issue of the New York Times, the word “Nicotini,” invented in 2003, represents a drink, consisting of tobacco soaked in alcohol, devised by Larry Wald, a Florida bartender. This concoction was designed to circumvent the smoking ban and keep his customers from migrating outside to smoke.
Some other links to info about Nicotini:


Meanwhile, consider this sweet story about a hard-boiled detective named Nico Tini:

Nico Tini was a hard-assed, chain-smoking private dick who specialized in tracking down stolen domain names.
Back in 2003, pursuing a hot tip on the purloined BlurkleSpot [dot] cm (which didn't quite exist back then, but still considered MIA by the great Kevin Ham), Tini went into a Florida bar and fired up an unfiltered Camel.
“Hey, Bub, snuff the cancer stick,” said the scarred,  tough-as-nails bartender behind the black oak bar. He pointed at the dreaded “No Smoking” sign.
“Oh, carp. WTF is the world coming to when ya can’t even smoke in a bar. A BAR, for godsake!”
The bartender shrugged. “Yeah, it sucks, but what can ya do? If I let you light up, it’ll cost me 2,000 big ones in fines.”
Nico Tini shook his head and stuck the unlit cig in his mouth and chewed on the end. “What a world we live in...”
“All’s not lost, though. I got something right up your alley,” the bartend said. “Let me take care of ya!” He went into the backroom, where Nico Tini could hear an awful grinding noise, like bones in a wood chipper (Case #777)...
“Jesus H., what da hell?”
Mr. Bartoonie (that was the name on his tag, anyway) came back with a tall frozen concoction that looked suspiciously like a frozen daiquiri – it was green and luminescent like nuclear waste or, worse yet, more like the evil Mr Jekyll... 
“AWWWWW!!! That’s a lady drink.”
“Looks can be deceivin’. This’s the house specialty, our frozen coffin nail lime rickey (hold the bananas). There’s more nicotine in this frozen froth than six packs of Camels.” Mr. Bartoonie pushed the drink toward the now-shaking Nico Tini.
Tini gulped down the coffin nail lime rickey (definitely without bananas), and developed a serious case of brain freeze. “God, that was toxic,” Tini said with a smile on his face before he passed out.

* * * * *

When Nico Tini woke up, he was laying face up in a back alley, the Florida sun bearing down on him like a big hairy gorilla, his head pounding and breath so foul that the feral cats and rats had scattered into a nearby Dumpster. “Man, that was some super s**t!!!!”
Then he saw the note pinned to his chest. “Whas dis???”
He pulled the note from his chest and unfolded it. In big red block letters, it said,

MR NICOTINI.......HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.........

I’M HOLDING BLURKLESPOT DOT CM HOSTAGE AND IF YOU DON’T PAY ME 1,000,000 BIG ONES IN UNMARKED BILLS, I’ll KILL YOUR PRECIOUS DOMAIN.

MR BARTOONIE (NOT MY REAL NAME AND DON’T EVEN THINK OF CHECKING WHOIS ‘CUZ IT'S PROXY, BABY, PROXY)

“Aw, Snap,” said Tini. He tore up the note, got up, and went his merry way. To this day, the fate of BlurkleSpot DOT cm is uncertain.
Rumor has it that Kevin Ham found it DOA, murdered in cold blood with the rest of the .cm domains floating around in cyberspace.
It seems Mr. Bartoonie was a super-duper triple agent, who is now hiding out in the Cayman Islands with FS, counting his dough and sipping lime rickeys with bananas (hold the nicotine).

The End











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